Thursday, October 13, 2005

The “No, Seriously, Are You Really, Really Ready To Have A Baby?” Quiz

The “No, Seriously, Are You Really, Really Ready To Have A Baby?” Quiz
Andria Brown

1. Are you tired of all the clothes in your wardrobe and wish you could get them out of your sight for at least two years, and possibly forever?

2. Do you feel you spend too much time with your friends and want to cut it down to once every couple months?

3. Would you prefer having someone other than you or your partner decide when and if you have sex?

4. Do you dislike going to first-run movies, restaurants with tablecloths and stores that don’t have carts?

5. Do you feel that you get way too much sleep and would prefer that your alarm clock go off whenever it feels like it?

6. Two parter: a) Have you saved enough money to live on for at least a year, in case one partner doesn’t go back to work right away? b) Have you saved enough sanity to be the person who stays home?

7. Do you hate watching an entire TV show at one time?

8. Have you been with your partner long enough that thoughts of separation/homicide would be quelled by a sheer lack of the time required to find someone else you can tolerate?

9. Do you suffer from a chronic surplus of energy that can only be relived by having a small helpless being suck the life force out of you?

10. Do you get lonely when you poop?

Scoring: Give yourself a point for each “Yes” reply.

0-4 points: Hmm, maybe you haven’t thought this parenting thing all the way through. Maybe you should go hiking through the Pyrenees or have a $300 dinner and think some more.

5-7 points: It’s going to be an adjustment, but you’ve got a chance. As good a chance as anyone else, anyway.

8-10 points: Congratulations! Your ability to bury your own desires and sacrifice every personal aspect of your being, 24 hours a day, renders you the perfect potential parent!

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